Sergeant Miles and Max Cameron (DT)

Nice. Classic.

Yeah.

You got one?

Some of these are really stupid, but...

Your mom was so fat, Jor-Joran Van Der Sloot couldn't make her body disappear.

Okay.

I don't know who the fuck that is.

I could probably... Let me see what I got.

Your mom was so stupid, when an invader broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 911 on the microwave, and couldn't find the call button.

Your mom was so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.

Your mom was so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Here we go. Your mom was so fat, it took three years for Nationwide to get on her side.

Dumb.

Your mom was so stupid, she put paper on the television and called it pay-per-view.

Your mom was so fat, she got in front of the Hollywood sign and all you could see is HD.

How about...

Your mom was so fat, when she got on the scale, it said, "I need your weight," and not...

I got one.

You know the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

What?

You know what? When I drop two loads on a washing machine, it doesn't follow me around for two weeks.

Well, I promise I won't follow you around for two weeks if you drop a load on me.

...