The Army core of Jerk-a-neers

Oops.

Oh.

Oh.

Excuse me.

It's all right.

Have you had any trouble breathing or anything like that with the humidity?

No, not really.

Okay, then. Well, to close off, I'm going to have Private Ryan and Private Parts come in and do a sperm sample.

Okay.

It's mandatory.

All right.

Private Ryan, Private Parts.

You want Private?

We will.

Private?

Yeah.

Looks like I haven't removed your underwear for sure.

What, you want the head down here?

Mm-hmm.

Head down here, feet down there.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

For those of us jerks, we salute you.

Pleasure.

All private.

Now ladies, what would you say that dimension is?

About 8 inches or so?

I'd say it's pushing 8 inches. I'd say more like 7.

6 and a half maybe.

I'd be lucky.

I'd give almost 7.

Thanks.

Yeah, 7 and a half.

It's in great shape for a Muslim Colonel, that's for sure.

Now ladies, can you please just stroke his balls for me and let me know whether or not

he's been stroked lately?

Sure.

Within the last couple of days.

That's good, sir. Regular jerking is very important.

Okay.

Now, sir, will you please produce a sample for me?

...